can’t I just spend all day at home?

When I was young, before I knew what was up, I dreamed about adulthood and how I wasn’t ever going to stop and I was going to run free and wild and party as much as I wanted and stay up late and go forbidden places and do spontaneous things…

{and that people would understand that run-on sentences are how my brain thinks, and how I choose to write my thoughts, because…. this is MY story and grammar is subjective anyway and… yeah mind yo own businass}

… and while many of the manifestations of my former years come true for me daily, I find that I most often crave the thing that would have horrified my 16 year old self: quietness and stillness.

At the moment, I’m dreaming of nothing more than spending some much needed time at home painting, organizing, cleaning, meditating, purging, storing and creating my soulful and happy place to thrive in the quietness of sanctuary.

I guess until you know and process chaos (and I have years of experience in chaos), you never fully appreciate the stillness in peace.

I had a long weekend ahead and one that I anxiously awaited and will long be grateful for. I have no business complaining about the opportunity to:

1) work alongside one of my best friends doing something I’m truly passionate about
2) meet one of my longtime idols and learn from and assist her in the largest event for our brand on the West Coast
3) the ability to travel, meet new friends and practice my craft, passion and art form outside a traditional 9-5 existence
4) ALL THREE of these fabulous things less than a week from returning from a world renowned music and art festival many people can only dream of attending.


Am I tired? Hell yes. Am I complaining? Not on my life.

I have the unique experience to be living a life I have taken years co-creating and though it isn’t always how my former self would have predicted it, I am grateful and blessed to say that the joy and contentment I have in this moment is better than I could have come up with on my own.

I guess this post is pandering to a bit of a #humblebrag, but I’m really in awe of the way the Universe times things out for me sometimes and I’m so effing grateful I couldn’t think of any better way to express myself than with my pen…. err, keyboard.

If you made it this far, you get a virtual gold star and know that I love you and I’m grateful for you and I promise all my writing won’t always be this self indulgent but yeah… some of these posts are going to end up like this.

And now, we stop abruptly.

struts, stumbles, hugs & kisses- Nicole

One thought on “can’t I just spend all day at home?

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